The Importance of Trust in an Attorney/Client Relationship

I have always recognized the importance of rapport, good faith and mutual respect between a client and his/her attorney.  However, it was only very recently that I came to realize just how important they are, and how significantly the psychological aspect of the attorney-client relationship may impact the ultimate outcome of a case. This realization only came to me after I had seen the unfortunate results that an otherwise well-qualified family law attorney obtained in handling a case for a close family member of mine.

I had referred my family member to an attorney who is a certified family law specialist, and who is listed as one of the 2009 Southern California Super Lawyers. I had been impressed by this attorney at a prior time, while she was representing a spouse in a divorce against a client of mine.  Although the details of my family member’s situation were well within the scope of my own practice, because of our family tie, I felt it would be unwise to represent him myself.

My family member’s case was challenging because, although he had always stayed at home as the primary custodial parent of their three and one-half year old daughter, he was facing criminal domestic violence charges, and a domestic violence restraining order in civil court. His wife had taken over custody temporarily, based on the charges. He insisted no violence had ever occurred, despite his wife’s allegations. Based on my knowledge of both of them, I believed she had fabricated her story, in the hope of having my family member be declared unfit as a parent, so that she could take primary custody and eventually move, with their daughter, to Oregon.

My family member retained the attorney I recommended, and paid her a ,000 non-refundable retainer. A few days later, she duly represented him in family law court with regard to the domestic violence retaining order. Because of the possibility that the City Attorney would be filing criminal charges as well on the domestic violence charge, my family member was advised by his attorney not to testify in family court, since the pending criminal matter signified that his statements could be used against him should he face criminal charges, and his only recourse would have been to plead the Fifth Amendment.

Although his attorney’s recommendation was technically accurate, he had to forego the opportunity to testify on his own behalf. It would have been much more in my family member’s interests to obtain a continuance, since the hearing to determine whether to pursue the criminal matter was set for only a week away. A week’s continuance of the restraining order hearing would have afforded my family member the possibility of returning to court and testify in the likely event the criminal charges were dropped. The fact that his attorney did not present him with this opportunity suggested that, for some reason, she might have a different agenda than to serve my family member’s good faith interests.

In any event, at court, my family member’s wife offered to dismiss the restraining order as it pertained to their daughter. On the other hand, she insisted that my family member’s time with their daughter be severely limited, including just three hours of monitored visitation every other day, for an indefinite period of time. Despite the severity of the limited visitation, his attorney opined that this was a “very good” offer, and demanded that he accept it.  In fact, she went so far as to threaten to resign on the spot (while keeping the non-refundable ,000 retainer), and leave him alone in court to finish representing himself in the hearing that day. Under duress, my family member agreed to the proposal.  He then fired his attorney, and retained new counsel the next day.

I was shocked to learn of this result. My family member told me that he felt as though his attorney was representing his wife and not him.  Both the manner in which the case was handled and the terms of the settlement caused me to believe that my family member was indeed justified in feeling that way. This was a situation in which the mutual trust and respect between attorney and client had been seriously compromised.

I am convinced that my family member’s attorney treated him poorly, and failed to properly represent him, because she believed the allegations that he was a wife beater. With this bias, she treated him as if he were in fact, a criminal and likely to be violent toward his wife and daughter in the future. Pressing him to accept the very limited custody arrangement was her way of advocating for them, over and above her own client, my family member.

Ironically, the criminal charges were indeed found to be fabricated only a week later, and the matter was dropped at the hearing in the City Attorney’s Office. This thoroughly exonerated my family member from any culpability for the violence he’d been charged with. Nevertheless, he’d had to pay the price for his own attorney’s bias. Had she believed in and respected him, she might have advocated for him more diligently in the family law situation.

In any event, the damage had been done.  If my family member is able to have custody of his daughter restored to him the next time around, it will be far more costly than if his original attorney had believed him and represented him accordingly. 

Technorati Tags: Attorneyclient, Importance, relationship, Trust

This is a problem that some men, have been or will be confronted with when women become violent. Despite the myth due to lack of reporting, women assault men at a much higher rate.

Striking back will 100 % win you an evening in lockup without question. We would love nothing more than to put their lights out, I know.

Is she really worth getting arrested for?
Having a criminal record for?
Having to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer?

Here’s a few steps on what I personally recommend.

1) Any witnesses present get names and numbers. Even write down friends or family so u remember.

2) Get your cell phone out and take pictures of any marks, bleeding or cuts.

3) Even if there’s no damage go to your doctor ASAP to get examined and get it documented.

4) Contact a family law Lawyer and advise them of the event. Keep his or hers name handy.

5) Never threaten her with calling the police.

If your a man, calling the police because your woman hit you is begging to go to jail.

Remember, when the police get involved, as a man you are considered the primary aggressor and presumed guilty. When questioned your girlfriend or wife will absolutely tell the police, you had her cornered, She was fearful, She feared for her life and only slap or punched you to make you get away. It was justified and she will tell the police this while trembling and sobbing.

She’s not going to F*ck her life up with assault charges, she going to throw you under the bus.

Rule number 5, never tell her your calling the Police or pressing charges. She can scratch herself up or rip her shirt and your shoveling shit with Chris Brown.

Hopefully you just walk out of the relationship or marriage and won’t tolerate a violent B*tch.

If sh*t comes down at least you have the things I’ve mentioned to defend yourself in court.

MEN’S STUDIES 10-f*cking 1 Burp.
*****Jesse’s Girl

You don’t believe men assaulted by women is grossly under reported?

I wish I had a nickle for every man slapped or physically pushed or shoved by a woman.

Women think men deserve it and that women are entitled to use physical violence, because your weaker.

It’s still assault and violence and we don’t like it.

It’s time men turn the legal system women hi-jacked against them.

We’re just stealing a page from the feminist handbook.
******* skip da do

Yeah Right, the Police believe women beat men. Any man that calls the police is begging for his own arrest.

And the police don’t pull over Black people for drive to nice of a car.
********** THANK YOU ALL *******

For answering my questions. I appreciate all answers either way.

Men really need to get educated on what to do in these types of situations.

The average Man faces a serious bias from the Police and Family Courts.

A pair beats a full house, and a sobbing pitiful woman will always win the cops sympathy.

(RESPOND) DON’T REACT to your WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

THINK IS SHE REALLY WORTH HAVING A CRIMINAL RECORD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

FORGET A GOOD JOB with a criminal record.

JUST LEAVE IF SHE HITS YOU, AND DON’T LOOK BACK.

Technorati Tags: aggressor, assault charges, burp, cell phone, chris brown, cking, criminal record, family law lawyer, girlfriend, lockup, marriage, myth, nickle, pressing charges, relationship, tch, thousands of dollars

Save My Marriage – Learn Top Intimacy Secrets For Any Relationship

Whatever your reasons are, you CAN save your marriage. How do I know this? I have seen it a hundred times. In this article I will tell you how to add a new spark to your marriage or relationship.  However, I do need to say that I’m not a therapist or an expert, so don’t take my advice as such.  I don’t know you and can’t make any guarantees because it takes both people to make a relationship or marriage work.

A few years ago my friend’s husband decided to end their marriage. To my friend, let’s call her Jane; it was out of the blue. Without giving personal details, he was pretty sure of his decision and only wanted to talk about who was getting what and how to get through it as quickly as possible. They had no children at the time, but Jane was devastated, shocked, and a bit angry all the same. Frankly, she never saw it coming and was going about her business thinking everything was AOK.

Obviously, it wasn’t. After her initial shock and anger, she was flabbergasted, not only at his behavior, but how different this was to how they used to be. Sure, they had a few issues, as every normal couple, but in the beginning we were truly happy, and nothing like the situation on our hands now was making any sense.

She didn’t understand what had changed.  All she wanted was for him to just change his mind with this ridiculous break up. So, she panicked and went on a crusade on her own to change his mind through whatever measures necessary —threats, begging,  desperate, (and embarrassing) behavior. She did everything she could do to get his attention.

When all that didn’t work and he refused to play the game, she kicked and screamed, grieved, hid and stopped living her life.   She was just miserable. Yes, her situation was bad and she had no time to prepare, but she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself.

Then her husband demanded she stop the silliness. He presented her with the divorce papers, told her to get her own attorney and the whole thing would be final in 30-60 days, according to him.

Well, that woke her up. She realized her tactics weren’t working.  She had a month or two to try something new or to just stop this nonsense and move on with her life. She decided to do something for herself to get out of the depression.

She had been watching all these TV dance shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”. She had always thought about learning to dance but never did as she felt awkward and like she had no rhythm.

She went online and found a studio near her to sign up for dance lessons.  She liked the idea of ballroom so she took some ballroom classes.  After only a couple of lessons she realized it wasn’t so hard.  She liked it and kept going back.  She got attention from here instructor as well as the rest of the people in the class and started to feel a bit better and less depressed.

 Her husband noticed this change and asked her where she had been going 3 nights a week.  What was she doing that made her come home smiling and happy? It was like there was a new spark in her eyes that was not there before.  One that looked similar to when he first met her. When she said she was dancing – he laughed and tried to make her feel bad about going.

 She tried to not to let it bother her and continued to go,  increasing the weeknights of dance lessons so she wouldn’t be at home with him.  Then all of a sudden, the tables turned.  He wanted to know who was in the class that made her so happy, why this new spark, what about these lessons were so special.  He said he was moving out but never actually picked up his stuff and went.  He put off his appointments with the attorney and she just never hired one.

This went of for a few months and one day – he accused her of cheating and demanded that he go with her to the class.  She was very uncomfortable with this but agreed to take him.  He felt awkward and silly the first time but everyone was very nice and the instructor made him feel as comfortable as possible.  He felt that he could never keep up with the classes but continued to go “to keep an eye on Jane”. 

 I think this was all a fabricated story because he continued to go with her and actually enjoyed himself in the process.  There was a new spark in their relationship and upon coming home from dance class; they started to make love again.  It was as if the intimacy that wasn’t there before, or had gotten stale in some way, was BACK!!!!

 Now this happened to Jane as a fluke.  It was not planned or intended to “Save Her Marriage”.  But it did. Dance is a powerful thing.  It will add an intimacy to your relationship that you never knew existed. 

 If you feel your relationship is needs some excitement or a new spark, find a studio near you and sign up for lessons.  If you can’t find a studio, get dance DVD’s to learn to dance at home.  Here are a couple of links that will give you great ideas.

 http://beahiveballroom.com – Studio in Orange County

http://beahiveballroom.com/dancewithlouis.html

Find More DIVORCE ATTORNEYS IN ORANGE COUNTY Articles

Technorati Tags: Intimacy, Learn, marriage, relationship, Save, Secrets

I need to know about how to go about a divorce with 3 minor children involved. The father says he will dispute if their is anything about custody or support. He don’t take care of the kids anyways. I have been involved in a relationship with a guy who takes care of the children, and the father only calls to talk to me not to the children. What should I do? And how would I go about filing for the divorce and soul custody. Meant to tell you we have been seperated for over a year now.

Technorati Tags: divorce, relationship, soul custody

About 3 weeks ago a lady from Allegheny county filed paternity
papers, but heres the story…
The boy was born in 1992, I was 17 when she got pregnant and she
was in her early 20′s. SHe did not tell me that the baby could have
been mine, she moved to PA. I live in West Virginia and she did to at
the time. The boy has another mans last name and on his birth
certificate.
I hired a PA lawyer and in the beginning they said that because
it was kept from me I might not have any obligations. well now I will
have to pay support if he is proven mine.
I guess what I need to know if proven as the father,do I have
any rights to what she has taken from me, You can’t build a
relationship with your child after so much time has passed. I have 2
children that I am a very involved Dad. If I had been given the
chance I would have for the child in question also.

I would really appriciate any help or advice!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Technorati Tags: allegheny county, birth certificate, dad, lawyer, relationship, west virginia

My boyfriend and I came to a southern California city in March, under the impression that we would be working for my cousin and her husband’s construction co. When we arrived we found out that The husband had filed for divorce because she was an alcoholic and having an affair. He has custody of the kids and has a restraining order against her. He allowed us to stay with them temporarily. After a week we asked him about the jobs and he says he didn’t know anything about it and because of the recession he is laying off people and doesn’t have any positions. We stayed a few more weeks and during this time he would sneak my cousin in the house so she could stay the night with him without the kids knowing ( we would take their 3 children to the park while he snuck her in) The kids were questioned weekly by cps and thats why he never let them know she was in the house. She would come to the house everyday while he was at work and the kids were in school. During these times she would be getting drunk and it started affecting OUR relationship ( I don’t drink). One day she physically pushed me and I hit her. She then told me and my boyfriend to get out. We spoke to her husband about this and he said he felt it was best we leave. The only money we had was . so we jumped on a trolley and ended up in another city a few miles away. All of our clothes and luggage was left in their home. A few days later my boyfriend called the husband and begged for the job so, he told him to meet him at a neutral place to turn in his id’s and fill out an application on a Friday and that he would start the job on Monday. The day he met him for the application and id’s, the police were there and arrested my boyfriend. They said we broke into the husbands home that morning. When they took my boyfriend to the house for the neighbors to identify him. The neighbors told them it wasn’t him (my boyfriend is black and the person who broke in was white) The police detective released him and gave him a card to call so we could get our things at a later time. We called everyday for 2 months with no progress. The detective would never call us back or would tell us that he couldn’t reach him about our property. We finally quit calling and a month later they issued a warrant for my boyfriend’s arrest. He has been in jail for a month an a half. Because we have no money for a lawyer they have charged him with burglary and grand theft and have given him a year and a half probation. This is all so ridiculous and it makes me angry. At the time of his arrest we were both FT students at a technical school. I am now living on the streets but I am still going to school, I maintain a 4.0 gpa and have perfect attendance. What should we do? he will be released in 20 days.

Technorati Tags: clothes, construction co, cousin, cps, divorce, few days, having an affair, job, jobs, luggage, money, neighbors, neutral place, police detective, recession, relationship, restraining order, southern california city, trolley

I have a friend who was arrested because her ex filed charges against her when she moved away with their child. He was emotionally abusive and since their relationship was convicted of domestic violence. Unfortunately because she did not have full custody he reported her as having "kidnapped" their child. THis person stole from her while she was pregnant and had no interest in raising the child except to try to toture her. She has been moved to Cali even though she was in Pennsylvania at the time. Her older child is in PA with family, her young child is with His mother in Ohio (he can’t even care for her himself) and she has lost her home, her job, her car and family. I believe it will work out but she needs a good lawyer and meanwhile her kids are stranded across the country. This is an outrage and nothing can give back to her the innocence lost. Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you
Wow, I asked a serious question and amused_observer was just rude, and insensitive. Obviously there are many avenues for free legal help and that was the percise reason I posted this question. I thought I could get a response from someone who may have been in a similar situation and had some luck in getting legal aid. Thank you for the advice on picking up a **** phone book that was great along with the dripping sarcasm that I must be too lazy to do that. Your sympathy for the situation was obvious and your comments show your ignorance.. amazing.

Technorati Tags: avenues, domestic violence, free legal help, full custody, innocence, job, lawyer, legal aid, outrage, pennsylvania, phone book, quot, relationship, sarcasm, sympathy

I am dealing with an evil ex-wife who has essentially brainwashed and stolen my children. They are now 19 and 20 and want nothing to do with me and have gone so far as to make false claims of abuse to scare me away. Despite this they (and their mother) do think I should contribute to their post secondary educations and pay child support for them. I have no extra money to help pay for schooling and because the ex is in a MUCH better financial position have asked for her understanding that there is no discretionay income that I can provide to the kids. I am paying child support and will continue to do so until they are not eligible for it. She doesn’t care (big surprise), and does not even show the child support on her financial statement as income (meaning the 12000 a year is going…???) In any case, I have to go to court now to prove that while I would like to help my kids out, despite their behaviour, I am not in a financial position to do so, especially since I have paid out well over 100 thousand dollars to their mother over the past 12 years to support the children (despite the fact that she remarried immediately after our divorce was final to a cop making a lot more than me and they have always been living at a much higher standard than myself). There are several arguments I could make (parental alienation on her part, unilateral termination of relationship, father is not to be simply a wallet etc) but I need to know from a legal perspective what the courts hold in higher regard: The Family Law Act, the Divorce Act or the Federal Child Support Guidelines. Each says similar things, but in different ways so I’m trying to determine which has more clout legally. Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am representing myself (can’t afford a lawyer…).

Technorati Tags: child support guidelines, clout, cop, different ways, divorce act, educations, extra money, family law act, federal child support, federal child support guidelines, financial position, financial statement, lawyer, legal perspective, parental alienation, regard, relationship, surprise, thousand dollars, wallet

ok I wanted to know if you can terminate a fathers rights if is in jail? I have 2 kids that my husband wants to adopt, and looking on the internet i know you are suppose to get the biological fathers consent, thus, I have had no contact with the biological father for over 4 years, and he has had no contact with my children as well. S o with this also in mind. My kids do not no their biological father . they believe my husband "that i recently married and been w/for 7 yrs" is there only DAD.
So if i can terminate his rights how do I go about this process on my own without a lawyer, Since money is crucial right now since my husband is in his last year of medical school and we have 5 kids all together thats:including my 2 kids i brought into the relationship" oh I hope I can get any help there is. Oh and I live in the state of Illinois.
thanks

Technorati Tags: biological father, biological fathers, dad, fathers rights, lawyer, medical school, money, relationship, state of illinois

I’ve come across yet another stupid whore on the net claiming that she wants to marry her fiance simply for money and sex, not for love. 95 percent of women are like that in Southern California. Well nowadays, marriage is a scam for men and women benefit from it and the divorce.

Why do so many Americans give up so easily on a relationship or marry for the wrong reasons?

Technorati Tags: divorce, fiance, love, marriage, men and women, money, relationship, southern california, stupid whore