My lawyer states I can expect nothing more than the base guidelines for child support and alimony. I will never work, my youngest child, 8 years old is severally mentally disabled, married 16 years, ex to be income 0,000, my income on SS 20,000, plus childrens SS disability 10,000.

My coworker was in the break room yesterday and several of my female coworkers were telling him to leave his wife and get divorced. He was expressing how he would hate to do that because of what he felt would happen to the kids.

He’s from a very traditional culture. His wife doesn’t work and he provides a good life for his wife and kids. He feels that she doesn’t love him, and only cares for him as a father & not a husband.

My assessment is that she controls him emotionally. I’ve been where he is and I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. He is an utterly defeated man. He feels that his wife can’t take care of the kids without him there; or that she would intentionally allow the kids to become problematic in order to gain sympathy and emotionally blackmale him.

He is having physical problems: ulcers, headaches, insomnia, etc.

Because of his culture, going to a therapist is completely out of the question.

I understand his desire to keep his family together and his fear of what will happen to his boy & girl if they divorced. These are aspects that my female coworkers did not understand.

I later advised him that if he was going to stay for the sake of his family that he should seek happiness outside of his marriage. I know some people feel that cheating is the biggest sin there is; however I can imagine what a divorce would do to him and his standing within his family and community for basically condemning his family to poverty. He makes about /yr which in Southern California barely makes you middle class. His wife doesn’t work and has few job skills. And they have two small children. Most likely she would get child support and alimony that would equal half his income, and keep the house. She won’t be able to take care of 2 kids and pay the mortgage on k/yr. And he won’t be able to afford a decent apartment in LA on that income.

His concerns aren’t financial; because he’s a GREAT father. However, reality is reality and those are the numbers he’ll have to work with.

So I told him that he should find someone on the side that could at least provide an escape for him every now and then, because when I was in the situation I had a nervous breakdown and he feels he’s on the verge of one.

An Orange county man and his wife were married for 18 years until their divorce in 2004. During this time, they owned and managed a real estate company together. 18 years and 2 children later, the husband has accepted his former wife as a lesbian, and that she was moving in with her new lover.

In the process of the divorce, he agreed to pay ,250 per month in alimony. She did not, however, reveal that she and her new lover were now registered as domestic partners.

Should this man still have to pay alimony?

Is this a case of the wife wanting her ,250 per month cake and GETTING to eat it, too?

Do you think it has an impact on the gay rights/marriage issues when a person enters a same-sex relationship while still reaping rewards of their marriage?

Regards,
Rock E. Horror
kayer_fire: So, you stance is that as long as congress is against gay marriage, the husband (in this case) should have to be financially held accountable for their decision, even though HE IS accepting of his ex- wife’s new relationship?
This took place in Orange County here in Southern California; one of the few states to recognize same-sex relationships on ANY level.
LOL… No. I’m not the husband.

In California divorce, can a 2nd wife recover alimony & child support payments that her soon to be ex-husband made to his 1st wife while he was married to the 2nd wife?

I am seeking to get a divorce, but I am baffled about the community property part. The only thing the hubby and I ever bought together was a TV, everything else – all debts, furniture, services, etc, we paid for separately and we never had a shared bank account or anything.

I don’t think we need to see a judge because he and I agree that our debts and bills are our own, we won’t make the other pay for them, and we agree on no alimony.

I have incurred some debt since we got married, it may be more than ,000. Would this be considered a community property issue since I made the debt, not him and I do not intend to ask him for money or help paying it off?

And where can I find a low cost paralegal or attorney in Alameda County, California?

I live on the east coast but travel to Southern California often for job purposes. While I’m there, I’ve heard a variation of this joke from numerous random people…"Don’t ever get divorced in California. Unless you’re a woman." This statement is usually followed by a divorce horror story on how this guy or that guy got "raked over the coals" during proceedings. I always thought it was perhaps because married men in California make a lot more money on average, and thus would have to pay out more in alimony. I wanted to ask anyway out of curiousity. Are there any extra state laws or statutes that give advantages to a woman in a California divorce? Or is it just a long-standing joke among guys with no real basis in fact? Why are California divorces the subject of so many jokes? Thanks for your answers.

*Note* I’m not trying to start a men vs. women debate here, so let’s please keep the gender bashing to a minimum.

I went through mediation. After 20 yrs of marriage. I was granted 1/4 of the 401K. It has been almost a year and I still have not received it. I have contacted my lawyer on several occations. Only once have I ever come face to face with my lawyer after I hired him. Before I hired him he seemed like the best guy for the job. After everything was said and done I was mistaken. He was awful and only allowed me to talk to his secretary and answered few of my e-mails.

Now I have received a letter from him stating that his job was done after I was granted the divorce.Since my ex is in contempt of court he would have to file again and if I wanted him to do that I could hire him for an additional 50.00.

My ex made really good money. I make about 18,000 a year and am due to receive 0 a month in alimony which is taking a year to receive per agreement from my lawyer. He said it was the best deal for me to receive even though my ex makes 3 times that amount of money and cheated on me during our 20 yr marriage. Our only child is considered an adult by law even though I still take care of her.

The only person I had to depend on to work for me was my lawyer and I know I was duped but I felt stupid when I told him I felt I was being treated unfairly and he said I should take the deal.

Is it true that he has no more responsibility to make sure I receive the 401K?

P.S. oh and my ex only had to pay 00. of my lawyer fees in 0 increments starting one year after the divorce was final. I had to pay 00. He also received all four vehicles including taking his own daughters car. My lawyer said there was nothing I could do about it because the judge wouldn’t make him leave it for her to pay off since it was in his name eventhough she paid for the down payment and paid all the car payments for over a year.
just in case you are wondering, I paid my own car payment for two years and never missed a payment…That was one of the cars he got too. Again my lawyer said there was nothing I could do.