Single moms in southern CA, how on EARTH do you make ends meet?
I have 3 very small children. I have a lot on my plate besides being a mom, a single mom at that. I live with my mom and step-dad while I have been going through a divorce and custody battle. My mom has been letting me stay here but my divorce just isn’t ending and now my lawyer has dropped me because I can’t afford to pay her. I get very little support from thier dad and I have no degree. I have to move because the amount of stress it is causing everyone for me to stay with my mom is unbarable for everyone including my kids. My step-dad does not want us there. The problem it is very hard to hold a job with three kids and with the amount of money I make, 99% of it goes to daycare. I cant get assistance because I receive some support though not nearly enough. How do women do it on their own with no help (my parents are moving out of state) in southern California (I do have to stay in Southern
8 Responses
ryet_grrrl
09 Feb 2010
MO I
09 Feb 2010
Hi Sweetie,
First off, HANG IN THERE! My best friend just gave birth to her 4th baby, and the Daddy, 24 hours after cutting the cord and crying "My son, my son", left her at the hospital claiming the baby is not his. I know alot of moms around here who help each other out with child care. Some do it for friendship sake, some barter with other things, but you need to find a good network of Moms. I live in Whittier. Contact me if you wish. I know I can hook you up! Good Luck, Sweetie!
The cuter
09 Feb 2010
Hey there sorry for the hard time you are going through. My suggestion for legal services is call the Legal Aid Society… here is a website where you can select your area and get services such as a lawyer and assistance from the court http://www.centralcallegal.org/nationwide.html … this is a free service I refer to a lot of my clients. Also check out low income housing in your area. I work in OC and use the housing list… it can take min 6 months to 10years to get a place but you have a variety of choices.. also there is a program out there called HUD they help pay for some of your rent, it is a program that is extremely full and opens once in a blue moon and no one knows when ( kind of when they feel like it) http://www.hud.gov/offices/cpd/affordablehousing/index.cfm
Also there are always food stamps and Cashaid that are out there that you can get on until you feel stable. Have you applied for WIC (women infant children) for your small children. They can help until your child is 5 years old. They provide education on nutrition and growth as well as providing vouchers for milk, cheese, eggs, bread, cereal, baby cereals, baby foods, and formulas. Also counseling is offered.
http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/
I hope this helps if you need anymore info or you happen to live in OC drop me a line I work in the OC and serve low income women and their children and have a ton of resources and would be glad to help out! Good luck with everything!!
can76chaser
09 Feb 2010
It is too hard!! I had to move to Las Vegas. Better jobs in the casion’s. But I have one, so the daycare is a hard thing!! I am sorry!! Hang in there!! You can do it!!!********************* IE is NOT cheaper!!!!! Lived there for 31yrs!!!!!
~Biz~
09 Feb 2010
The I.E. is cheaper than LA or the San Fernando/San Gabriel Vallies. But even then, I had to go back to school and earn my degree. That is honest-to-God the only way I’m surviving, and I only have one child.
If you have to stay in So Cal, hurry up and sign up for every housing assistance list you can find. The wait lists are sometimes 2-5 years, but can’t hurt. Look around for a possible on-line education, whether it’s a degree, or just a certificate (like medical assistant, etc.) Again, won’t help you now, but long-term it will mean more income for you. And there are loans available, so all it will cost you is time right now.
As far as childcare, I would recommend getting creative. Could you work for a daycare facility, and bring your children with you? Could you find a sympathetic private daycare, and also make a deal with the mom of your kid’s classmate, regarding backup childcare? Could you run your own daycare from home (once you get one)?
For me it’s all about cheating the system. Like figuring out how to buy $75 worth of groceries for $30-40. Searching the internet for free things to take my kid to. Decorating my house, and clothing us, on a flea market budget. Changing the focus of christmas from gifts to charity. Whatever I can think of to help us get more for less I’ll try. And even with all I do, some days I still dream of how rich I’d seem, living in Jesup, Iowa instead of in the I.E. 
But we make it, somehow.
You can do it, it’s just going to take some discipline and a lot of careful planning. I wish you the very best of luck.
Ricky V
09 Feb 2010
Not to sound like a bad person, but you will always have to struggle to raise your kids. It will be hard. No one is just going to give you money or a home just because you have children. We all have our troubles and everyone is out for themselves. I would suggest giving up your kids for adoption so that you and they can live stress-free lives.
JENNIEMARIE
09 Feb 2010
HERE IS THE FEE LEGAL SERVICES FOR THE RIVERSIDE AND SAN BERNARDINO COUNTIES. http://WWW.INLANDLEGAL.ORG
(951) 368-2555 or Toll Free 1-888-245-4257
Meme
21 Jun 2010
You should have thought of this before you made those innocent babies. What were you thinking? No money,education,firm man beside you,supportive family,no future and you kept breeding? I feel sorry for your kids lady.
Go on pills right now.
I was a single mom of 2 kids without any child support or help from my parents. I lived in the Inland Empire for most of that time, so rent and expenses were less than in Orange County.
First, look into Head Start and Early Head Start for your children. My younger son was on the waiting list for an entire year, but once he was in it saved SO MUCH MONEY and it allowed for me to get a job.
You can get assistance even if you are receiving support- whoever told you you couldnt was DEAD WRONG. Support is your right, not a privilege or extra income. In fact, support does not need to be included in your income for anything.
Also apply for food stamps, perhaps if some of the burden is taken off your step dad, the situation will be easier for everyone. Food stamps cannot consider your income.
Please email me if I can help in any way, I live in orange county and I’ve been through it! heather@envirobabystore.com