Should these kids be put in therapy?
My nieces and nephew had experienced separations of their parents at an early age, at the time, the youngest at one month, the middle at four, and the eldest at six years old. Their parent’s separations happened two years ago, but since then from today, my mom and I are thinking their actions are signs and symptoms of the divorce. Such as peeing in the bed, constant and frequent nightmares, crying in the middle of the night, delayed EVERYTHING(everything such as walking, talking, potty-training) for the youngest one.
Although this may be regular for children growing up, since each and every child is different. But, we do have our concerns. Do you think we should put the kids in therapy? and if so, is there any you recommend in southern California?
– I am trying to help raise these kids, if that answers your kids. So, I think it is my business. They do live with me, as well with their mother… but their mother is in a "I honestly don’t care of my children" person. and being as I’m only 16, it’s hard trying to raise these kids with my parents who work literally most of their day away.
6 Responses
Vef & Jcg
22 Feb 2010
Ann
22 Feb 2010
Oh my. The poor children I don’t have any recommendations for a therapist.But dear I know what is going on.Therapy would be Very good for them but you don’t want them to think there’s anything wrong with them.Remind them that they are special.God bless u and good luck
Moneysaver3
22 Feb 2010
Of COURSE the children will have "signs & symptoms" of divorce…they are children of divorced parents!
Honestly, though, it’s none of your business. Are you personally raising the children? If not, then you don’t know what really is delayed & what is just your perception of delayed in the short amount of time in which you see them.
It’s not uncommon for children in non-broken homes & with no issues to pee in the bed as late as 6 or 7 years old (some later). A child who HAS been through such an experience would be more likely to do so for longer, but likely would have still done it for a bit even without the issues.
Again, if you’re not living with them, then I don’t know how you know about the constant & frequent nightmares & crying in the middle of the night. I would say if you haven’t heard this personally from the parent with whom the children reside full-time then you aren’t likely getting accurate information and would be best to mind your own business. If it’s happening at the house where they only live on the weekends, etc. then it’s likely due to trauma from not being in "their" home (which is how they perceive the home in which they live full-time) &/or with the custodial parent.
I don’t think YOU should do anything if you aren’t the one responsible for raising the child on a daily basis.
Amy
Marcus
22 Feb 2010
No. Therapy is just wrong.
L a y l a (:
22 Feb 2010
I don’t think that it’s necessarily because of the divorce. I mean, the youngest one wouldn’t have any recollection at all. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I turned out okay. You should go to someone who knows about this sort of thing, like a doctor, because I don’t think Yahoo! Answers is the best place. Everyone’s going to give different answers based on opinions when they have no idea what they’re talking about. I admit that I don’t know either. I’m just advising you to go to someone that knows because these children are important and if there IS something wrong, then you shouldn’t wait any longer. Hope I helped! 
amsam
22 Feb 2010
even without the outward signs that the divorce has affected them negatively, counseling for children who have gone through such an experience can’t hurt. it can help them work through their feelings about each parent and the situation. night-time waking, nightmares, wetting the bed, delayed developmental milestones all could be an expression of their fear and pain associated with parental separation. it could be an indication of something else too – since the youngest wouldn’t have remembered the separation at such a young age. i would consult the pediatrician first.
I wouldn’t say so. Yes they’re bee going thru alot,but they’re just kids.
You said the youngest one is the one having problems with the potty training? He was 1month old when his parents got divorce,2years after,he’s 2yo-or some. My lil one will be 3 in September,and he’s not potty-traind yet,we startd but then he startd peeping on his undies so I put him back on diapers,I’m not stressing it,til he’s 3.
Then you said the older ones wet the bed;my 5yo wets the bed still =/ it’s a pain b/c the night diapers for kids is kind expensive,but i have no choice.I wake him up in the middle of the night with me,but sometimes I just sleep thru. I used to wet the wet til I was lke 7-8yo.=/ lol that’s why I’m not stressing it neither.
I’m married. My kids have their dads. So I’m not sure if the divorce has much to do with this….Are thier parents still arguing and fighting infront of the kids and acting like moronsss….????
Kids go thru alot,just like adults.We know how to "handle" stuffs… or most of it. They don’t know better.
If you put those kids in theraphy,they’re not gonna feel confortable. I dont know…my point of view.
Good luck!