please anyone who can help?
I have been separated from my husband for 5 yrs now,we have 2 kids the first 6 months of the separation was due to domestic violence against me so the judge ordered supervised visits for him ,gave me temp custody and made him pay child support for 6 months and told us both to get attorneys to handle it after that well we never did he paid the support for 6 months and then it got sporadic until he met his now girlfriend and he has not paid support in 4 yrs but i still let him see the kids if and when he did show up because they loved him sometimes he would not call or show for months,he has been homeless through ten jobs and now has 2 babies to care for w/ new gf well this spring break after he knew I spent all my tax money on getting my kids new beds and clothes because he doesn’t support them he ask if he could get them for the week so I said yes he said they would be in town at his sister well the next day dss showed up to investigate me for being on drugs and a pigstye house well they saw my house was spotless and I passed my test well he has taken them 5 hours away same st s.c. away gotten an attorney has them out of school they are all honor students and wont let me have them back,the one time he did let them call they begged me to get them , I have no money for a lawyer I pay my bills and have raised this kids on my own I make to much for legal aid forty dollars to much but not enough money to give a lawyer thousands of dollars and yes I did call and beg and all i hear is sorry we cant help please some one tell me how to fight this I also have 2 older kids 12 and 14 i don’t know where he has them I am helpless and desperate the law says we are both custodial parents and decide in court but they have lived w/ me for 5 yrs and he just ups and takes them
They are 6 and 7,social services is on my side but we cant find him to serve him with truancy papers much less anything else,I called every family law lawyer they all say it cost any where from three to five thousand…………. thanks for the support but I think it is going to take a miracle at this point
8 Responses
Siawar
28 Jun 2010
KRIS
28 Jun 2010
your story should serve as a lesson to all women that do not get custody through the court!!!
good luck, your going to need it!!!
ceegee
28 Jun 2010
Number one, you are going to have to find a way to file for divorce. That would force the issue of child custody. If it means cutting back on hours at work to drop your income level for a few weeks in order to qualify for legal aid or simply trying to get a loan from a family member or bank if your credit is any good, you are going to have to do it. Meanwhile, when you talk to your children, (if you do) try to stay upbeat with them so that they are not frightened. You need to be the strong one for them. The are going to be watching and listening to your state of mind and respond in turn. Let them know how much you miss them and love them but try to stay calm when you talk to them. God Bless you in this situation and bless your children too.
luv41anatha
28 Jun 2010
u r going to have to stage a kidnapping of your own kids. try to get them to tell u where they r the next time u tlk to them then get someone to help you get them then after u get them hightail it to the first available attorney you can find. try the legal aid dept. in your city. good luck…
dmoney
28 Jun 2010
try checking the last number he called from if you still have it. Its not much but at least you will now where he is by tracking the area code. Then go online to a phone directory and type in the phone number, whatever address shows up take that information to social services and or the police.
Renee P
28 Jun 2010
Wow. You seem to have done a great job of pulling out all the stops.
My first thought is to file for custody by yourself. You can usually do that – you don’t need a lawyer, they just have more knowledge. I’d file, and make all the efforts to serve him with notice (including publishing notices in papers in your area, where he is, etc. In most states, after a reasonable effort to notify someone of a legal action they’re involved in, you can get a default judgment in your favor (that’s how I got my divorce). Result: You get legal custody, and have legal grounds to report your ex for kidnapping if he fails to return the children.
I don’t KNOW that this is legal in your state, but it’s got to be worth looking into.
Toni C
28 Jun 2010
This sounds like something that should be on Dr. Phil or Oprah, have you considered contacting them? If not you should this poor excuse for a man needs to be put away for kidnapping. This dead beat loser should have no rights at all, his privilege’s went away the second he stopped paying to raise them. Get out there and get your kids back,scream and shout let yourself be heard and stop at nothing until you get your children . Don’t sit around and wait for the courts cause that will probably take forever if they even help you at all? I promise you that somewhere some how your story will touch the heart of a caring person that can help you, print fliers make phone calls draw the energy and attention to yourself and God will take care of you if you ask and really believe. I will pray for you God Bless you and Good Luck. Now get out there and be heard!!!
drslowpoke
28 Jun 2010
Firstly, the rules in South Carolina on child abductions aren’t exactly up to par. This could be difficult.
Contat the district attorney on this one. You have a glimmer of hope here. There is a bill in your statehouse now (s 363 and is in the judiciary committee) which calls for protecting children from abductions. Yours were already abducted, but it may be possible to employ the rule anyway (if it gets passed). The law looks for evidence that the parent may abduct, which includes a history of domestic abuse, previous abduction (you may have something there), and a number of other items. You could present this as a test case for the law.
The next thing to do is contact the statehouse and your representatives. Give the same story you told here and make sure it becomes known. With a bit of effort and a reputation for daily phone calls to whoever might be able to help, you may be able to get the right laws passed to make sure that one of them allows you to recover the children. If you have to, then make the kid the poster kids of this rule. When people see them, they will notify you of the whereabouts.
File a police report of what has happened. They may or may not be able to help, but it can start things moving.
Next, if you suspect that he is no longer in S.C, then it is a federal case. There is a federal parent locator service. It may help a bit. Somewhere, somehow, he is leaving a trail.
The good news is that he will have to come back to SC if he gets to court. He cannot modify the custody settlement from out of state.
Unfortunately, all these are going to be long shots, and hard ones at that. The DA may not be interested. The police might just roll their eyes at another parental abduction that they can’t do anything about. Your legislators may feel they need to work with paying lobbyists instead of some poor mother who can’t pay for their next reelection. Still, it is worth the try. Not just for you and your children, but for the hundreds or thousands of other mothers in the state with just the same problem.
Good luck. I hope you get the kids back.
You are just going to have to keep trying……it will be hard, but it’s your kids, so it’s worth it…..if you don’t have the money, pray pray pray, also you have family and friends – I’m sure if they knew your situation, they would be happy to help, you don’t have to ask just one person, ask serveral – it’s easier for everyone to pitch in – than for one person to fork out all the money….also, i’m not sure on this, but do you have to pay all the money upfront?? you might be able to get on some sort of payment plan…..worth a try anyways…….best of luck to you….