I have no friends anymore?
Um I need some help, here’s a little background info. so hopefully you can give me some advice. I went to a private school until i was 13 and in 8th grade. i was one of the most popular girl in the school, had loads of friends, and was very happy. But then my parents got divorced and i had to move to a new school in a new, snotty, beach town in orange county (think laguna beach but worse). it has been 3 years since i moved. i only made one close friend but she ditched me. i feel like i have grown to become more mature than my peers and i am not interested in their dumb drama- who hooked up with who, etc. i really couldn’t care less. i don’t know how i’m going to handle this last year of highschool can anyone give me any tips? and my school is very cliquey. the people are so snobbish. i don’t know what to do. i get along so much better with adults. i feel like im a 30 year old trapped in a 16 year old right now it’s so frustrating what do i do?
50 Responses
Mia W
26 Jan 2010
Rob
26 Jan 2010
make a myspace
Kyla X
26 Jan 2010
Just don’t try too hard!
Erich M
26 Jan 2010
sucks to be you
☮, ♥, ☉☉
26 Jan 2010
It’s your parents’ fault. They sound like a bunch of selfish hate mongering bastards!
Sarah
26 Jan 2010
i think ur just going to have to grin and bear it like u have been…
high school years r so short u’ll be in college b4 u know it and making new friends
but i really am sorry u don’t have any friends..
Dakota<3
26 Jan 2010
Well. Even though you don’t want to be part of their drama, open up a little and live like a teen should. Most teens care about who hooked up with who and such…if you really cant bring urself to want to live like a teen, ask ur parents to put u back in private school, or look harder for a friend who feels the same as you. Be open minded.
jiggerro
26 Jan 2010
If you sleep around you’ll be popular with all the boys..
Emily J
26 Jan 2010
All I can say is: welcome to public school.
Public school in general is VERY cliquey.
Just be yourself, and once you get to college, you’ll have the time of your life.
cadetskydome
26 Jan 2010
I felt the same way as you when I was your age (now I’m closer to 30 than 16.. eeeek!) All I can tell you is.. tough it out. 
It gets hard sometimes, but high school passes. The internet is a good source for creating an alternate social life for yourself, and it’s easier to find friends with similar interests.
supernova
26 Jan 2010
Arent we all, sad……… Try to act like them maybe, or get a boyfriend.
Chance S
26 Jan 2010
=P
mo j
26 Jan 2010
maybe you’re the one thats stuck up, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you wanna be an outcast from senior year …let loose have some fun
Carissa L
26 Jan 2010
i would be friends with you and i feel really bad
Marissa C
26 Jan 2010
Im going to college in a few weeks..and im freaking out because i have to leave everything behind. I know this might sound stupid, but spend time with your parents. Also if you dont have a ton of friends it will make it a lot easier to leave for college.
Marie C
26 Jan 2010
Can you get involved in some non-school activity where you could meet people your own age? My daughters attend karate school, where they meet people from lots of other schools besides their own. They have made lots of friends there.
The people in your school are unlikely to change THEIR behavior, and they don’t sound like people you’d want to be friends with anyway. I think a nice person like you would be much better off looking elsewhere for friendships.
persephone
26 Jan 2010
It’s always a bad feeling to be one of the mature ones surrounded by "dumb" childish people.
It’s your last year, just concentrate on school and let those people be. You’re going to find new friends in College or wherever. If they are not like you, don’t force yourself to make friends with them. One year of loneliness is ok.
If you look for older friends, just go out, join a club or do a sport outside your school. Good luck!
Lauren
26 Jan 2010
Just stick it out one more year.. Thats my advice. work hard and get into a good college and don’t think about the other kids.
Emily M
26 Jan 2010
ahh, I can sympathise with u in some ways, Not in the moving school sense but I have felt more mature than others my own age upon many occasions. I mean apart from the snobby popular people is there noone else that isnt that you could make friends with.
Well I would say just be yourself, and dont compromise yourself just to fit in. Just think in a year your be rid of them all!
Jenn Jenn
26 Jan 2010
you sound so down to earth, i grew up in oc and there are alot of spoiled brats. well you only have one more year to go and then you could go off to college and just start over, one more year. and its your senior year with is one of the best, so try and make a few friends join a club.
Fahad
26 Jan 2010
Don’t worry I’m here …
paganmom
26 Jan 2010
Sounds fimiliar. Unfortunatly, you may just have to deal with it. Try looking other places for friends, get a job or do some community service…you will find others with you interests there. Maybe try to be a bit more open to finding friends at your school, join a few clubs or try out for a team, you may be surprised to find you aren’t the only one who feels the way you do.
Good luck and hang in there, college is soooo much better!
iatethelastapple
26 Jan 2010
throw a party and invite friends, and people who you barely know but want to get to know better…I did that in 7th grade and it worked. Invite around 60 people and get a Keg of Root Beer!
MomOf 2
26 Jan 2010
Just try to find a couple of people (or one person) at your school that you can tolerate enough to mingle with during school hours. There must be 1 person like you in there somewhere. What about joining clubs or sports of some kind to meet people with the same interests as you??
buzzer213
26 Jan 2010
i have definitely felt that way. i would say think outside the box friendwise. maybe leave the bitchy popular girls to each other and maybe look at other similar "loners", the artsy girl, anyone you can have a conversation with. continue to not buy into their drama becuase they aren’t going to change, maybe take a class, dance or art, and you could meet someone.
Drowning in a bl
26 Jan 2010
Maybe you can join a club or group or something outside of the city. If it helps you’re clearly more mature than your classmates. You’ll find good friends, don’t worry. Overtime people change so don’t stress out about not having your best friends since middle school. Most people don’t find their real buddies until college even. It can be a good thing that you’re mature, you could always make older friends.
Smiffy
26 Jan 2010
I know what you mean about people thinking they are better than you it happens at every school -_-
Try finding some friends outside of school or just ignore the snobby ones showing u aint interested i dno what else to suggest, Good Luck 
Jim B
26 Jan 2010
dont listen to the myspace guy, tbh u wont find anyone on there, you should just go out more like go to star bucks and sit and hav a coffee, maybe someone will ask if they can sit with you, or strike up conversation with someone on a bus or train or whatever ya kno mingle, and jus be yourself.
Jimmy
Katya E
26 Jan 2010
I hate snob people……………☻
riveraswifey
26 Jan 2010
Yeah all that drama is not worth getting into. You should get a job or something for after schoo. That is a great way to meet people. Also, if your school has any clubs to join that you are interested in, go for it! I know its your last year, so just try to make it through. I used to sit in my car at lunch time when I had no one to sit with. Just try to be strong and confident! Who care what everyone thinks.. you are the mature one so let all those little childish ppl be lost in their drama!
derik w
26 Jan 2010
Make friends with more mature people that are O.K to hang out with
Angel R
26 Jan 2010
You might need to suck it up for this last year and just TRY to deal with everyone and their crap, if not theres always a platonic section on craigslist.com!
kitten
26 Jan 2010
I wish my last year of school I would’ve been focused more on college than hanging out with my friends.
Maybe hang out with people you think are nerdy, there have to be some. They are usually really nice and smart. Hang out with people who are going somewhere in life, not who are consumed with all the drama. I was pretty much by myself in high school – after my parents got divorced I grew up really quik.
Katicia S
26 Jan 2010
How have you acted? It took me a while to make friends, too. If you know anyone that has a screen name be sure to add them to your list so that when they sign on you can chat alone, and learn about that person and start a friendship.
blutansy
26 Jan 2010
Find an activity outside of school that you are interested in. There you will meet some other people that are interested in the same thing, and hopefully you will make some friends. Good luck. And just in my experience, I only have 1 friend that I still talk to from HS (I am now 28). I have made better friends that I feel much closer to than when I was in HS, so keep your chin up and leave yourself open to meeting new people.
Juicy<3er
26 Jan 2010
well…i am facing the same problem but i havent started school….im moving to and i am scared about the people there too….the best way is to be yourself talk to your classmates more…..dont change….just be yourself and be more open with others and introduse yourself to new people…its hard but its worth it…try to be friendlyer and hopefully people see who you are and will be your friend….i really hope you find some friends….just try this!
roxxxie82
26 Jan 2010
Girl I went through the same thing!!!! I felt like a loner my last year. What I did was get a job and made a couple of friends and went to parties made even more friends. Friends I related too. Make a myspace when you browse through peoples profiles make sure they ya’ll have something in common. Good luck
Ruffus
26 Jan 2010
You should start by trying to talk to people around you. Like the other kids that sit near you in class. Ask them questions about class, what they’re wearing, what they did over the weekend or anything. You’d be surprised by many people will warm up to you if you just start talking to them.
I know it can be intimidating being around people that don’t seem open to you but you have to remember that you look the same to them. So you just need to make the first friendly move.
Just relax, you’ve only got 2 years of High School to go. The real world is MUCH different without all the cliques.
>’_
26 Jan 2010
Just don’t try to be ‘cool’ and they’ll come to you. If you try to act out, they might get the wrong inpression. If cliques are upsetting you, here are some things you can do.
*Find friends. If you find yourself left out of a certain group, focus on other friends. Hang out with kids who aren’t part of a clique. Sometimes this means finding older or younger kids to hang out with, or making friends outside school. Sometimes it means being open to kids who look or act differently than you do.
*Speak up. If your group of friends has suddenly turned into a clique, speak up. It’s OK to say that you want to invite others to hang out with you, too. Be prepared for the fact that the clique might go on without you. On the other hand, others might follow your lead and stop acting so clique-y.
*Invite a friend. If you’re on the outside of a clique and you want to be friends with someone who’s in it, invite that person to do something with you. It might help if you can see your friend away from the other clique members. Maybe your mom or dad could arrange to have that friend visit at your house on the weekend. By spending time together, he or she might start realizing how silly it is not to hang out more often. But also be prepared for possible disappointment. Even if you have a great time together, your friend might still slip back into the clique when you’re all back at school.
*Don’t take it out on yourself. Some kids feel they should try to change themselves — and that’s OK too. Maybe you want to get healthy and fit or learn to smile more and be less cranky — it’s great to work on yourself, but do it for you, not for anyone else. If some kids are mean to you because they think you don’t fit in, don’t let them make decisions about the kind of kid you are going to be. Decide for yourself and then get help to reach your goals. Ask a cool cousin or friend to help you revamp your wardrobe or get a new haircut. But only change yourself if it’s something you want to do.
*Look for friends everywhere. The most popular and well-liked kids are the ones who are friendly to everyone. Do your best to let everyone feel welcome to talk to you. Look for chances to meet, talk with, and play with plenty of different kids. Is someone sitting alone at lunch? Why not ask her to sit at your table? Or maybe you noticed the kid standing outside the fence while you’re playing basketball. It’s time to invite him onto the court. Who knows — maybe the two of you will really click (which means to get along really well). Now that’s a much better kind of click! Hope it helps! =)
BTW why’s most of our answers marked thumbs down? that’s just sad, man whoever did that…
Bernie R
26 Jan 2010
Well if you feel that they are immature, and that you are more advanced in knowledge than they, then I think it’s partly your job to teach them. Just be the nicest person you can be and go ahead and spend more time with adults. You will not only set a good example for the kids, but you will learn a lot from the adults. Sooner or later you will pick up some friends your age. GOOD LUCK!
*Erica_J*
26 Jan 2010
I understand what you mean because that was kind of me in high school. I was mature didn’t get into ant drama and things of that nature. You have to learn how to be yourself and stay out of the drama. Its just that simple. I mean you should try talking to people that wouldn’t hurt let people get to know you and see what your about. You can have friends and still not have anything to do with the drama when you hear people going on with you hooked up with who ignore it. I mean don’t seem interested in it. Thats how I was but i still had friends so good luck. Don’t be miserable your last year in school…you’ll regret it trust me
tk
26 Jan 2010
i felt like that too in highschool. all everyone cared about was parties and dating and dumb kid antics.
so my senior year i signed up so i could do a co-op and start college early. so i only had to be there for the first 3 hours and leave before lunch for the day to go to work or i had a college class once a week.
it was public school so i am not sure if your school offers those things. but try and find out, it was so worth it to get away from highschoolers!
i also had mostly older friends, nobody in school. i met my husband at 16 and married him at 21 and he is 10 yrs older than me!
that is not too common though
Minnieme
26 Jan 2010
Well for one dont let other people think of you matter so much. Who cares about them. I know you want friends and all, but you do seem so much mature then they are. But haveing no friends is better then having friends that dont care about you and just want you there because your there, right? I know it sucks but you are a mature person that does not need that kind of hassle about things. But make a myspace and finds people that are mature like you are at 16, which is a lot if you look. Well i hoped that helped a little.
Meg H
26 Jan 2010
Ok. I went through the exact same thing. (i’m 24 now and finally am fitting in the right age group.. barely still!)
There’s really not much you can do besides looking outside of town. Keep going to coffee shops on the weekend/ local shows/ art exhibits/ the things that you are interested in. make friends outside of school- make older friends.
Do not make the mistake of dropping out. I didn’t technically drop out, i tried online highschool to finish up with my senior year, and i moved out- but growing up too fast made me lose track of school and i had to finish through the technical school.
gosh, i feel so bad for you because i totally know where you’re coming from. Just remember. you have one more year left. Just one! from there on out, you can move out to a different city, get a neat part time job, (through work, you can deffinetly meet a lot of new people) and college! my gosh! college, whether it be the university or the community college, you WILL meet more mature people there. (but remember not all of them are mature… their will be a lot of dumb kids)
just keep your chin up and keep your weekends available to getting out and doing new stuff.
good luck
~~*GUYAN3ZE_GYAL
26 Jan 2010
If you’re not stupid then follow these tips:
- Be yourself –> Don’t lie about who you are just because you want to be popular.
- Be nice –> I’m sure there are nice that want to hang out with you.
- Study and work hard –> You want to attend a good college right? Do all your classwork and homework and don’t miss a single assignment.
- Follow Instructions –> Do what the teachers tell you to do.
- Get an early sleep –> You don’t want to wake up on the next day of school looking droopy and disgusting.
- Most of all…Have Fun! –> Party afterschool. Do a silly dance, go get a milkshake!
luminosa
26 Jan 2010
To narrow your explanation down a little, what you are saying is: You don’t fit in with the kids your age. To make friends, act your age (16) and not like a 30 year old. It may seem silly and childish to you, but to be friendly, you have to go along with their feelings as well as your own. By acting like an adult who is pushing middle age, you are telling the normal 16 year old girls that you feel you are above them. Would you want to be treated like that? I’m sure you don’t, and would avoid them as you are being avoided. You have to give a little to gain a little.
emmmie
26 Jan 2010
aw that is hard.
i know what you feel like. in 6th grade i was like one of "the girls" at a small private school, i had to switch schools and i was thrust into this HUGE public schools with some of the most immature kids i have ever met.
what i did was simple i found someone like me,someone who felt like we were better then the school.
together we faced everything.
all you need is a couple friends.
don’t get upset that you don’t have "a lot"
just look for a somone just like you.
somone who feels like a 30 year old trapped in a 16 year old body.
someone who understands you.
because,that is all you need.
delilahloveschoc
26 Jan 2010
From Personal experiance, I would say to find people in your school or city who are like you and don’t care about that sort of crap.I know a lot of my peers are like that, but they have more to say than who likes Davis or who Claire likes. Whats most important is that you actually have SOMETHING in common whith people you think you would be friends with.You don’t have to like all of your peers, but try to find someone who you can just be yourself around. That’s a real friend.
♥ily
26 Jan 2010
If you get along with adults then you should ask them for advice they can help somethime the advice may sound silly but it help trust me.
not what you are looking for then read the following.
i think that you are to depressed you may have a hard time think about what you want to do you should just go with you first idea if you dont have friends you can just be with out them if you do something by your self and relize that you dont need people to do it you will progress. just be your self if that doesnt work just invent some thing and roll with it like wear a shirt you made like if yo uhave an old shirt that you dont want then fix it up like cut holes in it add glitter or something just add your "FLAVA!!"
DONT MAKE A MYSPACE IT IS TO ADDICTIVE YOU WILL END UP FIXING YOUR PROFILE AND LOGGINGIN AND DOING THINGS YOU COULD BE SPENDING BETTER TIME ON .
Me who wa?
26 Jan 2010
Private school does prepare you for life in a more sophisticated way. You may just as well be more mature than them. How ever you never let some know you are smarter than them, they don’t like it. Don’t dumb yourself down either.
There are people for everyone even in that "snobby" school. When I was there, and I was, it turned out better to be my own person. Not the one to be in the trappings of gossip, you will find others that are the same. Don’t give up!
The school sound like they are more of followers than leaders. Cliques typically work that way. Be yourself and I can almost bet they will come around.
Good Luck. Stay strong!
There is nothing wrong with you. You remind me of me at a younger age.
You are still young and you might feel older than what you really are, but you shouldn’t be feeling like this. The bad thing is that you live in a snobby area where most kids are spoiled and thus snobby and have no idea of the world around them. It must be hard for you to relate to such people especialy at this age, but don’t worry. There is so much more out there to discover and with time perhaps 2-4 years from now when you will be more aware of the world around you, you will come accross people that you will connect with and make great friendships and relationships.
What i can say is that you must be yourself, don’t have to follow the trends to fit in and you should not change your character to make friends. Real friends accept you the way you are even if you might think you are too mature for them.
Someone once said that" A friend is someone with who you dare to be your self with"
you must keep that in mind!
best of luck to you hun!