I am having family law issues ( I just have a short summary , I left out a lot of details but hope u can help)?
My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 1 year next month. My husband has a 9 year old son with his ex-wife and since me and my husband have been together he has only seen his son 3 times. Their divorce decree states that he get every other weekend. Everytime he would call to come pick up his son, his ex-wife would give an excuse. (i.e He is busy right now playing monopoly with his friends) My husband would get disappointed everytime and we know we have to get a lawyer to even get her for contempt or court and we dont have that kind of money. So my husband simply gave up knowing that when his son grew older that he would be able to explain why he was never around. Now what makes my husband and I upset is that he pays 8.00/mo with a 7.00/hour job in which he has recently put in a request to lower that but point is we r paying for a child that we dont even see so its more like a debt or fine, but recently we seen his ex-wife and son in the grocery store and she comes up and talks to him and they agree on letting my husband get his son for the weekend after valentines day weekend……so we exchange #’s. but the next night we get a call from her and shes crying to my husband telling him to come back to him and that she misses him and if he doesnt she’ll kill herself and so we just brush it off bc she was drunk and we thought she’d b over it soon. The next day she calls asking him to come over and bring her medicine and my husband blows her off but later she has his son call and have him go pick up his son to go get v-day cards for school. When we drop him off at home he gives my husband a letter that we find out his ex-wife wrote him and how she loves him and how having sex with him felt and a real detailed letter which makes me mad and its comin2 me that maybe she didnt let my hubby c his son bc she is obsessed with him and she constantly has his son call and ask for him to come over and visit him which all of a sudden has just started since wrote him that letter…? is——-#1 do i have a right to be mad? #2 what can i legally do to stop this? #3 How do i handle this?, if for one…I dont want to come between my husband and his son since now he’s getting to see and hear from him often
2 Responses
Eagles Fly
29 May 2010
Bumblebee
29 May 2010
How can you see child support as a "fine" just because your husband doesn’t get to see the child often? My ex says that to me, it’s like comparing money to the life of a child GTF Over it.
If you didn’t learn how to deal with crazy obsessed women in high school I have no idea what to tell you. This isn’t your battle it is your husbands he needs to find legal aid and get her straightened out, he needs to tell her to stop, he needs to step up.
Please learn how to use paragraphs.
It’s understandable you are mad, but seriously you can’t do anything about it he has to do it. It is his son and his ex wife and you wouldn’t be able to say much other than this bothers me without stepping over the line and separating him from his son.
She sounds like real winner. She’s playing games of which she is involving (using) her and your husbands son. Here we go again where the child gets caught in the middle. Seems the children always pay the price for such stupid behavior.
Since your husband has a child he will pay child support until the child is 18 years old. Except that, because it isn’t going to change unless he gets full custody if he can show just cause that she is an unfit mother. Then she pays child support. As for the amount your husband has to pay for child support was court ordered. He can go back to the judge and plead hardship and maybe the judge will reduce the amount he has to pay for child support. He can also tell the judge what she’s pulling regarding visitation, letters, using their son to give messages to your husband and the whole nine yards. You check this out with legal aid and find out what they have to say.
As for you feeling like you’re getting in the way regarding visitation, etc., because you’re not. You are the child’s step-mother. How are you ever going to form a relationship with your step-child if you feel like you’re getting in the way. You need to be honest with your husband and tell him you don’t want anymore letters sent/given to him. If she does this kind of thing when she has been drinking that’s just another thing the judge should hear about. What she’s doing is bribing your husband to see his own child. That is not playing with a full deck. Makes me think just what kind of an environment the child is living in. You could also get an appointed court attorney to listen to your case and maybe some changes can be made. The way things are going now things could get more sticky as you and your husband go along trying to be a family.
It’s not easy being a step-mom in the first place. And having to deal with an ex-wife who’s not dealing with a full deck just makes it all that much harder.
Your husband shouldn’t have to listen to her for his right when it comes to his visitation rights. This will continue if someone doesn’t put a stop to it. You may have to put out the money for an attorney in order to put a stop to what is all going on. Get to legal aid and make a list of all the questions you want answers to.